I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize