I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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