I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
