dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
