She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
