I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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