My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
