ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
