1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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