are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
