if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize