im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
