Your dad touched me again.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
