Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
