So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
