My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
