i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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