lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
