so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I want to be your penis for a week.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
