considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
