he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
