you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
