your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
