My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
