I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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