My hair reeks of homosexuality.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
