I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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