Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
