So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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