using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
