Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize