well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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