I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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