please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
