So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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