Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
