just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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