In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
