maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
