Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
