So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
