my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
