We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
