I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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