Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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