So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
