come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
