i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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