buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
