i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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