I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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