the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
