I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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