I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Someone signed my nipple.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize