I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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