My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
