I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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