A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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