did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
