I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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