Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
